The great Stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius, said that. And I forget it all the time.
Like when my partner loads the dishwasher in a way that makes my eye twitch. After all, I’ve spent almost a decade figuring out the most optimized way to load the dishwasher, and they’re throwing dishes in there like it’s a trash bin.
This is how I’m wired – and I know it’s not always easy to be around. But I value order and systems. I like things done with care, done efficiently, and done right. And I hold myself to that standard.
A problem arises, though, when I hold others to this high standard. I expect people to think the same way, act the same way, and have the same general mindset. And, surprise, that leads to way more frustration than contentment.
When I get too rigid about how others should operate, I’ve noticed that resentment begins to creep in. I start to feel frustrated and silently hold people to expectations they never agreed to. I get annoyed when they don’t approach things the way I would.
That’s not leadership. That’s immaturity. And it’s something I wanted to share that I’m working on in case anyone else relates to this dynamic.
The Stoics got it right – focus only on what you can control – even if that’s easier said than done.
